Where to start?

This is a welcome home sign that somebody put up on base. I'm sure the Marine recognizes himself in the picture as do all the Marines that know him. There is just so much wrong that I don't know where to start.

Is this sign from a jealous girlfriend and wifey's on the bed of a pick-up truck on her way to Mexico to be sold into slavery?

Is this sign from his brother who took "care" of wifey while he was deployed?

Is this just a sign from the wifey who likes to advertise that she is lazy and fat and probably has cracker crumbs and bugs in the bed because this sign has been up for several weeks.

I won't even get started on "the ice", like there's only one ice? I bet it melted really quick. Maybe it's on the ice in Alaska? Or on the ice on the boat that she bought with deployment money and is sailing around on with the brother?

OK, it's making my brain hurt because it doesn't rhyme or flow. It's just a bunch of statements on a piece of vinyl and there's nothing welcoming about that! Argh! Plus how many times has that Marine been asked if wifey's still on the bed?

I think I'll go get a life now.