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Friday, September 07, 2012

GPS SchmeePS

Last year I had my navigational skills questioned by my three year old.  Since that time I have not used my GPS during our trips from VA to NC because, you know, I got this.

On our most recent trip home, I called my Dad to let him know we were on our way and we had the following conversation:

Dad "What time does the GPS say you'll be here?"
Me "I don't know, I'm not using it.  I know my way home."
Dad "OK..."

Two and a half hours later I had the following conversation with my Grandmother-in-law:

Me: "We're making great time!  Madelyn's sleeping and we're near *some town that starts with W."
Nanny: "Thats great!  Be safe."

Forty five minutes later I call Nanny back...

Me: "Um...we're in West Virginia."
Nanny: "..."
Me: "Yeah.  I didn't need the GPS."

I call Chris

Me: "Um...we're in West Virginia"
Chris: "Where's the GPS?"
Me: "I didn't need it..."
Chris: "Obviously."



*Wytheville is the "W" town that we drive through each trip, there was a different "W" town at about the same point on 81N and my brain just made them be the same. 

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Spot removal

I wrote this almost a year ago and forgot but I just now found it and since I'm lazy I'll post it instead of writing something new.

Sometime earlier this year I developed a lovely clogged pore that didn't seem to want to go away, and then it got a friend right beside it and another and then together they dug a pool.  So after enough waiting for them to move out of the neighborhood on their own I went to the dermatologist for a zit removal but was surprised with a biopsy and got an undeniably clear result of inconclusive squamous cells.  So it was reccommended that I have it removed.

In preparation for having my face cut off, I asked Chris to try to be there in case a crazy criminal breaks in and tries to switch their face with mine.  Granted I wasn't under anesthesia and the only thing numbed was about an inch of my lower jaw, but I prefer to be safe, plus since I knew the Dr. wasn't going to give me anything to relax while I have my my face cut off I thought I might have to get drunk and then drunk me wouldn't even realize that my face had been switched, I would just think I had on "beer goggles", unless there's a beard involved and then I'd just thought I  fell asleep in some mud.  So obviously it's better that he was there. 

I don't think Chris was paying enough attention during the procedure because I'm pretty sure that part of my face did get switched.  This little part down here where my original pool partying zits were is feeling a little evil.  I think it's part serial killer so if I start walking towards you with the side of my face leading you should probably back away or slap me, one of those might work. Its only a small part of my face so I think you're safe as long as you don't give my face a knife or a gun.  I think, mostly.  I mean I don't think it can really do much without a weapon, right?

Added just now, almost a year later, I'm pleased to announce that my face only tried to kill me once immediately after the stitches were removed and I had a raw spot  from the bandages and in a stroke of brilliance thought I'd spray neosporin on it in the commissary.  Madelyn still giggles about me doubling over and trying not to chuck cans of pumpkin at the nearest wall.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Wherein my womanhood and independence are questioned

This past weekend Madelyn and I took an impromptu trip to surprise my parents for their 30th Anniversary.  I used the GPS to keep me updated on my time of arrival so that I knew where I needed to go for maximum surprising impact.  After exiting for the fourth potty break, and being yelled at by the woman in the box to make a U-turn.  Madelyn asked the following:

"Momma, how come you can drive all the way from California without that thing but you can't find Nanna and Da-Daddy's?"

Yep.  The GPS landed in the floor and I did NOT use it on the way home.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Their Story is our story

Today marks my Mom and Dads 30th wedding anniversary.


Their story is our story, our family and our love.

Mom caught dads eye with her beauty and grace.
taken at Niagra Falls and the first picture Dad ever had of Mom

Dad swept her off her feet by wearing tuxedos to drag races

you wish you could look this sexy

They dated and Dad set the standard for perms in the relationship. 

It took Mom a few years to catch up, but when she did, she did it big.
Mom instantly had a ready made family.  I personally think she got a pretty awesome deal. 
I mean, look at that cuteness in her lap. 
Not everybody gets so lucky as to marry a guy and get such an awesome daughter too! 
This is the stuff of fairytales.  I was a perfect angel and never ever peed on her lap in the drivethrough.


She also had the pleasure of spending time with my older sister, and although Brea's story is different from my own, the love and devotion from our Dad and Becky are not.


For some reason our little family had to grow, so we grew larger with the addition of these two turds. 

While their story started resembling a little bit of normalcy - married, owning a house, and living with 2.5 children (I won't tell you who the .5 is)  I know that things still weren't easy.  They both worked hard long hours, and us silly kids had things we wanted to do like dance, band, T-ball, and eat dinner.  

Plus they were raising us in the 80's.  It was a very scary time. 
Even in church portraits.

I know that they survived with lots of this:

and even more of this:


Now, after thirty years they have kids who aren't entirely embarrased by them and a granddaughter who is pretty certain they hung the moon.

Everybody pictures their life story long before they start living life.  We grow up reading fairy-tales and dreaming of our happily ever after.  Mom and Dads story didn't start out like a fairy tale.  Some people have baggage as they enter into new relationships. 
Dad had a steamer trunk. 
I was part of that steamer trunk. 
Mom could have turned around and ran.
Dad could have dropped that trunk and run away with Mom, but they didn't. 
They carried the trunk together and did what they felt was best and right for the two girls riding that trunk.




Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!  We love you!

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Lily Pad Preschool Day 1

We may not have gotten out of bed as early as I wanted in order to start our day and then we may have taken an hour longer at the commissary than I wanted to but we did manage to make it through everything I had planned for the day.
We worked this afternoon for a little longer than I think either one of our tolerance levels could handle.  In case I was unsure about that fact, when we started our handwriting exercise, Madelyn was thrilled that I was a "teacher mommy", by the end of it she informed me that maybe she just needed a different teacher. 

I think I was fired by my 3 year old.

Thats when we pulled out the crayons and stopped trying to make letters.


While I finished up dinner she played a hopscotch game using the apple floor tiles from Confessions of a Homeschooler and then played in her kitchen after making it to 7 and losing interest. 


Speaking of dinner, can I just say that I kind of want to make out with the inventor of the crock pot liners?  Is that inappropriate?

All in all I would say it was a good start.  I've already tweaked this weeks lessons to more readily help with what were sticking points today. 

Hopefully I can make it through day 2 without being fired.

Friday, September 02, 2011

What I am doing

So many of you have asked (OK, maybe none) what my plans are to teach Madelyn.  I'm going pretty basic and simple and we'll add more as is dictated by boredom and learning curve.  Every day will have a handwriting and phonics exercise as well as new material and new focus.  For example, we are still working on lower case letters so one day in the second week is intensive lower case work.  As in we're pulling out the house diagram and talking about who has what in the attic and in the basement.  Intense I tell ya.    Each week will have it's own theme.  We will use that theme for part of our handwriting and phonics skills, as well as a themed craft, books (fiction and non fiction), and as many related activities we can while maintaining my sanity.  Our first week is Ballet because she will be starting dance class the following week, so this will serve dual purpose of getting her excited and having a fun week 1 theme.

My "gold*" friends will want to place their hand firmly under their jaw for this next part.

I have a notebook with lists, each days plans and what prepwork beyond worksheets I need to do.  The back of each page is where I will list what we actually do so that when I plan weeks 4+ I kind of know what's working.  On the inside cover is our schedule that will hopefully keep us running smoothly.  For the actual work, I have 5 different colored folders, one for each day, that has that days work placed in pockets so that each morning I can grab that folder and go, even if my coffee hasn't yet kicked in.

As for that inside cover schedule, "school" will be scattered throughout the day so that neither one of us gets frustrated or tired.  In my little dream bubble our days will flow seamlessly and smoothly and I will end the day rejuvenated and feeling accomplished.  Then I will poop sunshine.

*Gold refers to a personality color based on the Four Lenses, I am not a gold, I am an orange, also known as the anti-gold.  My notebook and folders are, however, very "gold".

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Back to School

Can it really be called "back" when she's never really been?  How about if she isn't even technically "going" this year?  I don't know the deep philosophical answers to those questions, what I do know is that I have 3 weeks worth of lessen plans and materials for our very own Lily Pad Preschool!  Oh wow!  I really like the sound of that.  Maybe I'll have a sign made, or add it to our arts and crafts, or sew something, or talk about it a lot and never actually get it done.

Madelyn is almost 4 and is in constant need of intellectual stimulation, so I devised a battle plan to help us through the long cold (to us who haven't lived winter in 11 years) VA winter.  My battle plan is preschool.   My sword is a pencil, my shield a piece of paper, this sentence a huge hunk of cheese.

For those of you in know about me, you know that schedules aren't really my thing, but I'm doing it.  I'm setting an alarm clock without having a specific place to go and we will start our days at the same time each day.  This is going to be a feat in and of itself as little miss M is not a morning person, and frankly, neither am I.  I can already see mornings of coffee and chocolate milk as we sit over the table tracing letters and working phonics.

I'll be updating here regularly with pictures and letting you know what did and didn't work.  I'm sure there will be plenty of funny somewhere, after all, I am a scatterbrain choosing to teach her child.

edited to add: I know that I wrote about this whole preschool thing earlier, but now I have a plan! and materials! and it's real! not just a thought in my head and on this blog.