The Lily Pad

Hey Puddin Pop*! This morning you were having some gas pains and the solution for that is for you to sleep on your tummy except you didn't want to lay on your tummy in your bassinet so guess what? You ended up on my chest (suprise suprise right?). After some protesting from you, you finally dozed off into a light sleep During one of your awake times you moved your arms around and I ended up with one of your sweet little hands on the side of my chin near my cheek. This has to be one of my favorite moments so far, your little head was tucked under my chin and your little hand on my face. I didn't dare move for fear that you'd move your little hand. Daddy left for a short trip today so right now we're going it alone and you're asleep. I'm hoping you wake up soon so that you'll sleep tonight because Daddy won't be home until tomorrow sometime and Mommy needs her sleep. However if you'd like to sleep with your head under my chin and your little fin...

Preface - Dooce does this for her daughter and I have loved reading her entries and I love the idea of doing them for Madelyn. My plan is to start here with the blog and continue to do them until it feels right to stop, even if I need to handwrite one every now and then. Dear Madelyn, It was just a month ago that you came into our lives and you have already changed them so much! We had a rough start and I have never been so afraid in my life. I had several medical complications after we were released from the hospital starting with a spinal headache that made me dizzy and nauseous and hurt so bad that I didn't feel safe carrying you, once we had that corrected I had fluid overload and couldn't lay down without feeling like I was drowning and had to go on medication that forced me to have to bottle feed you for several days. During this time I questioned my own strength and ability to be your mom. I was so afraid that I couldn't be the person you needed, that I wasn't p...

Wow. I can't believe it's been over a month since I had Madelyn. My life has changed so much yet I feel like I have had this life for so long I don't remember another time. I am slowly but surely regaining some of my "me time" so there should be more blogging in the future including a letter to Madelyn for her 1 month birthday. This parenting thing is hard. I know that I'm making the best decisions I can regarding my daughter, but every single day I second guess myself. I know it's the lack of sleep (which I'm happy to say is quickly mending itself) and the sheer stress of having a new baby. I've tried very hard not to "spoil" her but she loves to be held and I just can't let her cry forever so we hold her. She does well for short periods of time on her own, but sometimes I think she just gets bored, can a 1 month old get bored already? I'm certain she can. Next week I'm going back to work. It's going to be a dif...

I've thought several times about how to write how I am feeling as a new mother and every time I start I find myself at a loss for words. I just don't know where to start, how to start, or even the word to start with. It's amazing. It continues to amaze me how much love I feel for this little bundle of life that has come into our lives. Is it tiring and stressful? Yes. Is it rewarding? Yes. Is it awesome? Yes. Is it mind numbingly monotonous? Yes. This past weekend we had our first night out after having Madelyn. It was for the Marine Corps Birthday Ball, an event I just couldn't miss. My parents came into town to watch her and to say that I missed her for the 7.5 hours that we were apart is an understatement. By the end of the night my heart ached for her. I just wanted to be at home to smell her sweet little head, to kiss her sweet little cheeks and to hold that little hand. I fought back tears several times throughout the night and looked at pictures of her. I think...

Here is the clinical part of the labor and delivery of Madelyn. I'll post a more emotional/pretty story later. Things around here have obviously been crazy and my postpartum experience wasn't exactly normal or easy so it really just feels like I'm ending my first week home with Madelyn when it's actually been 2. On Tuesday, October 23, after a dinner with friends at Carrabas Chris and I checked into the hospital. Our nurse, Sally, greeted us and asked us to wait while they finished getting our room ready. It was a busy night in labor and delivery but we only had to wait about 20 minutes after arrival. We went through the check-in process and at around 1 a.m. I received my first dose of cervadil. I was barely dialated and still 75% effaced. After 4 hours of restless sleep they checked me again and I hadn’t changed so I received a second dose of cervadil. This time I started having mild contractions and back labor kicked in. 4 hours later there still wasn’t any change, ...

Born: 10/24/07 - 10:43 p.m. Weight: 7lbs 1.2 oz Length: 20.5 inches Birth story to follow soon.