Monday, March 23, 2009

Selfish...

I keep talking about and I truly plan on starting running but I haven't. It's not because I'm lazy, or maybe it is. I haven't started because I don't want to share my runs with Madelyn. I want my runs to be a full release, total me time and I know that I won't zone out into my own little world if there's a baby in a stroller in front of me.

This sounds horrible, but it's true. I just want to run by myself, turn the ipod up as loud as it will go, cross and run down streets as I feel without having to worry if there's sidewalk for the stroller, if she's happy, if she's getting too much sun, if the traffic is too heavy or if the dog up ahead will try to attack us.

When I ran before Madelyn, I would zone out into some great beyond and work things out in my head, think about random stuff and just kind of regenerate. I want that again. I also want the weight loss that comes with that. I have been to yoga for 2 weeks now and I love that little escape, but it isn't the same.

Running is something I hate, but I love to hate it. It's the one workout I can do where I'm not counting reps and I can go anywhere in the world in my mind. I can blast obnoxious techno music and let the beat thump through my entire body without worrying about baby ear drums. I can set my own pace, do my own thing, and just be. WHILE losing weight. It's a win win.

Maybe I'm just using Madelyn as an excuse to not start running, because lets face it, those first couple of times are the worst and hardest.

I think that tomorrow I will run on the treadmill before yoga. I hate the treadmill, but it's a start, right?

4 comments:

The Willis Family said...

Ahh, I remember our treadmill days....I HATED them!!!!

But running is such a mental release! I hope you get it!!!!

Amanda said...

One of my good friends runs. She also uses it as her "me" time. It's the only time she's not having to worry about her kids, her house, her husband, her family, or her business. We all need our own outlets. It's no selfish at all IMO.

Bonnie said...

Well, I think you are using Madelyn as an excuse. I know, because I use Emmaly :-)

But I say, if only I had a running stroller, then I would run more. But I have a sneaking suspicion that when I get my Household Goods, I will find another excuse... maybe that I want some "me" time. I haven't run in a month and I have to do a stupid weigh-in tomorrow for my blog. Fun times... I never should have started that.

Sumpffamilie said...

I love my treadmill... Kaylee sits in her jumper and laughs at me.. I get off do weights and crunchs.. its great!! Seriously! I just got that P90X and plan on starting in a few days, once I have room.. all these boxes have to get unpacked soon right??