I've been doing a lot of thinking about this lately and have come to realize that I have a lot of fear. Fears that I think are irrational until I hear something on the news and then I want to puke.
Recently a man left his two children in the car while he ran inside to grab dry cleaning. The car was running, the kids were OK and he could see the vehicle. Then he couldn't because it was stolen. With the kids inside. I wanted to beat the man about his head and face for this and as I saw the reunion of mom and kids 4 hours later (the car was left abandoned 7 miles from where it was stolen) I just couldn't imagine the horror they must have felt. They were 2 and 4 (or something like that) so old enough to be aware that they were in a car alone for 4 hours. Oh...and it was 90+degrees, those kids could have died!
I live in fear of somebody breaking into our house and taking Madelyn and I wouldn't know it because I'm sleeping.
I fear having to face somebody who breaks into my house because I'd have to shoot them and sometimes late at night I wonder how the clean up would go and if we'd have to move and what kind of therapy that would require. I'm a detail oriented crazy fear lady.
I live in fear of not doing well enough as a mom, always second guessing my decisions. Like right now all Madelyn wants to do is sit in her highchair and put a plastic bowl on her head and watch Noggin and grin at me periodically and say "hat". That can't be good, but I've tried 5 times to get her down and each time she says "no" and holds on to the tray so I figure she's got a good reason to hang out in there.
I live in fear of something happening to Chris. Or to Chris and I and then what would happen to Madelyn. We don't have the paperwork done yet for who would take care of her if I become a vegetable or if I'm just unconcious for a bit. It's a scary world out there!
I live in fear of missing something that causes my family pain. Like not relatching the cleaning cabinet, or Madelyn sneaking off and drowning in the toilet.
I fear that we're not going to be able to grow our family and it makes me sad.
I fear that I have too much anxiety and fear and am a total weirdo.
I know at least one of my friends is this way too (looking at you partner in anxiety whom I won't name but you know who you are and your rechecking ovens and door locks).
What do you fear?