Excuses Excuses

Why do we always feel a need to make excuses for why our children don't act like stuffy adults?

I admit that sometimes I get embarrassed by Madelyn's behavior in public and I start telling perfect strangers "It's naptime." or "She's hungry." or "It's been a long day." and a few months ago it was "She misses Daddy."  First of all, its none of their business.  Second, there is no excuse for bad behavior, but most importantly, we all have bad days and my 3 year old is not going to be on perfect behavior all of the time.  Wow.  What an epiphany right?

Parents aren't the only ones who do it.  Teachers do it trying to ease our poor exhausted parenting hearts.  Reassuring us that it's nothing we're doing wrong, it's just that Dad is deployed, or that all the kids were acting up, or she seemed really tired.  How about she's 3 and cannot be expected to behave like an adult.  Yes, there is room to teach and correct bad behaviors but expectations have to be realistic.  If she misbehaved, she misbehaved and there is no excuse.  I'm not going to take her home and punish her, but we are going to talk about it.

Sometimes there is an obvious reason for a behavior and it isn't just an excuse, sometimes our toddlers act the way we want to.  I'll admit there are days where I would love to walk through the grocery store and throw stuff on the floor just because it's a bad day.  It's our job as parents to teach that it is OK to feel that way, just not OK to do it.

Lately I've been looking deep in my pea picking parenting soul and seeing where I can do better, how I can improve so that Madelyn's life is improved.  What I've found is that I need to stop excusing us both.

Linking up to Shell over at Things I Can't Say for:

Comments

Wow, this post is awesome. I always make excuses for Little Miss and I have no idea why. She is still so young and cannot talk and acting out is her way of trying to get attention. I find myself always making excuses which is insane. First of all she is toddler...I mean...really? Secondly, you're right-it's no one's business. She has been learning slowly how to act better in public but still has melt downs sometimes and that is to be expected from an almost two year old.
Shell said…
Such a great post. We don't need to make excuses- but wow, do I realize how often I find myself coming up with them.

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