The Lily Pad

Hey Pretty Girl! This is how I greet you every day. Daddy and I are sure that you believe your name is pretty girl because those words will get you to smile every single time. You continue to grow and to amaze me each and every day that we spend together. I see your little personality more each time I look at you. You are a horrible napper. You hate naps unless you can take them in my arms so I sacrifice and sit in bed or on the couch with you and let you sleep until your little heart desires to wake up. This month has been full of firsts for you, as I imagine most every month of yourl ife will be for a while, but this month had so many fantastic firsts and some scary ones. This was your first Christmas. In the days leading up to Christmas you had such an exhausting routine of visiting family and opening presents that on Christmas morning when I laid you down on your new playmat, you promptly fell asleep and then you napped through the rest of the presents being opened and halfway thro...

So, yeah, I'm more than a little late on this one. What with the holidays and hospital visits. Madelyn, you will soon learn that I have lots of good intentions but sometimes life gets in the way. My dearest Madelyn, This month you smiled for the first time, you took your first overnight trip, your daddy got commissioned, you met tons of family members previously unknown to you, and on top of it all you continued to maintain your cute demeanor. Your first smile came precisely two days after our family Christmas portraits reminding us once again that you are on your very own time table. You are so guarded with your smiles and smile only for those that you are comfortable with. While we were in Asheville you revealed to us that when you smile really big you have a dimple in your left cheek. It is so precious. You also get so excited sometimes that you get the hiccups in the middle of a big smile and then you promptly get mad. It is so amazing watching you grow and change and I look fo...

There, that should catch me up for a while. Nothing in my life ever could have prepared me for the holiday we have had. From giggles and smiles at various Christmas celebrations to high fevers and overnight hospital stays. We rang in the New Year at MUSC's Children's Hospital with a toast of creme soda for mommy and daddy and IV antibiotics for baby. Without boring you with details, Thursday after Christmas Madelyn was running a slight fever and we called her pediatritian who recommended that we take her to a pediatritian the next morning in Asheville because she wasn't acting like she felt bad at all. By 5 am her fever had skyrocketed to 103.2 and we took her straight to the ER. An ER not equipped to care for 2 month old babies. She had a chest x-ray, they drew blood, tried to run a catheter twice and failed twice, and then the doctor tried to trick (yes, I said TRICK) us into letting them do a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) on my sweet baby girl. Luckily we knew what ...

As of 6:43 this morning Poop Watch 2007 officially ended when Madelyn Grace had a large and stinky poop ending a 4 day non-pooping spree. Froggymama was cheering her on after breakfast and a sigh of relief from both parents was heard throughout the house. The subject poop was non-descript and a clean diaper was immediately called in for back-up. Madelyn is now a very happy baby after a rough weekend and is currently cooing at her mobile at home with her parents.

A few evenings ago we visited some friends and I fed Madelyn and hoped that on our drive home she would fall asleep and sleep for the evening. We got in the car and she cried and cried and cried until we were about 3 blocks from the house and then she was quiet. This is typically an indication that she has fallen asleep because she fights sleep and then just crashes. I was a bit bummed that she wouldn't be completely out because we were so close to home, but whatever. When we got out of the car and went to get her out we discovered that she wasn't asleep at all but rather wide awake with the nastiest scowl on her face that seemed to say "Yeah, I'm not crying now but I'm still pissed." I have no idea where she gets her attitude from.

Hey Puddin Pop*! This morning you were having some gas pains and the solution for that is for you to sleep on your tummy except you didn't want to lay on your tummy in your bassinet so guess what? You ended up on my chest (suprise suprise right?). After some protesting from you, you finally dozed off into a light sleep During one of your awake times you moved your arms around and I ended up with one of your sweet little hands on the side of my chin near my cheek. This has to be one of my favorite moments so far, your little head was tucked under my chin and your little hand on my face. I didn't dare move for fear that you'd move your little hand. Daddy left for a short trip today so right now we're going it alone and you're asleep. I'm hoping you wake up soon so that you'll sleep tonight because Daddy won't be home until tomorrow sometime and Mommy needs her sleep. However if you'd like to sleep with your head under my chin and your little fin...

Preface - Dooce does this for her daughter and I have loved reading her entries and I love the idea of doing them for Madelyn. My plan is to start here with the blog and continue to do them until it feels right to stop, even if I need to handwrite one every now and then. Dear Madelyn, It was just a month ago that you came into our lives and you have already changed them so much! We had a rough start and I have never been so afraid in my life. I had several medical complications after we were released from the hospital starting with a spinal headache that made me dizzy and nauseous and hurt so bad that I didn't feel safe carrying you, once we had that corrected I had fluid overload and couldn't lay down without feeling like I was drowning and had to go on medication that forced me to have to bottle feed you for several days. During this time I questioned my own strength and ability to be your mom. I was so afraid that I couldn't be the person you needed, that I wasn't p...

Wow. I can't believe it's been over a month since I had Madelyn. My life has changed so much yet I feel like I have had this life for so long I don't remember another time. I am slowly but surely regaining some of my "me time" so there should be more blogging in the future including a letter to Madelyn for her 1 month birthday. This parenting thing is hard. I know that I'm making the best decisions I can regarding my daughter, but every single day I second guess myself. I know it's the lack of sleep (which I'm happy to say is quickly mending itself) and the sheer stress of having a new baby. I've tried very hard not to "spoil" her but she loves to be held and I just can't let her cry forever so we hold her. She does well for short periods of time on her own, but sometimes I think she just gets bored, can a 1 month old get bored already? I'm certain she can. Next week I'm going back to work. It's going to be a dif...

I've thought several times about how to write how I am feeling as a new mother and every time I start I find myself at a loss for words. I just don't know where to start, how to start, or even the word to start with. It's amazing. It continues to amaze me how much love I feel for this little bundle of life that has come into our lives. Is it tiring and stressful? Yes. Is it rewarding? Yes. Is it awesome? Yes. Is it mind numbingly monotonous? Yes. This past weekend we had our first night out after having Madelyn. It was for the Marine Corps Birthday Ball, an event I just couldn't miss. My parents came into town to watch her and to say that I missed her for the 7.5 hours that we were apart is an understatement. By the end of the night my heart ached for her. I just wanted to be at home to smell her sweet little head, to kiss her sweet little cheeks and to hold that little hand. I fought back tears several times throughout the night and looked at pictures of her. I think...

Here is the clinical part of the labor and delivery of Madelyn. I'll post a more emotional/pretty story later. Things around here have obviously been crazy and my postpartum experience wasn't exactly normal or easy so it really just feels like I'm ending my first week home with Madelyn when it's actually been 2. On Tuesday, October 23, after a dinner with friends at Carrabas Chris and I checked into the hospital. Our nurse, Sally, greeted us and asked us to wait while they finished getting our room ready. It was a busy night in labor and delivery but we only had to wait about 20 minutes after arrival. We went through the check-in process and at around 1 a.m. I received my first dose of cervadil. I was barely dialated and still 75% effaced. After 4 hours of restless sleep they checked me again and I hadn’t changed so I received a second dose of cervadil. This time I started having mild contractions and back labor kicked in. 4 hours later there still wasn’t any change, ...

Born: 10/24/07 - 10:43 p.m. Weight: 7lbs 1.2 oz Length: 20.5 inches Birth story to follow soon.

In three days I will be checking into the hospital to start the induction process. To say that this is completely unreal to me is an understatement. My days are spent thinking about how this time next week I'll have a little baby girl in my arms. My anxiety has reached all time highs as I worry about labor, delivery, and what happens afterwards. I calm my fears by knowing that she will be in a loving home and Chris and I have gone to great lengths towork on our relationship and communication skills to ensure that we can provide the best for our new little addition. That said, I am off for a nice night of a fancy dinner (reservations required), non-alcoholic mojitos at our favorite bar*, and a nice walk downtown for coconut cake. It is our date night and I am so excited to spend it with the father of my child, the love of my life, the man who can make me smile when all I want to do is cry. Tonight anxiety takes a back seat. *To call this place a bar is a gross misrepresentatio...

I am being induced on October 24. I just bought milk that expires on October 25. I will have a baby before the milk in my refrigerator expires*. I'll let you think about that for a moment. Are you freaking out yet? I might be, but it's a good freak out. It's an awesome freak out. It's the kind of freak out that you have before something so big and exciting that your brain just can't handle the awesomeness of what is about to happen. I'm giddy. I can't think about it without smiling and fighting back tears of pure joy. I will meet our daughter in 9 days (or sooner if she deems it appropriate to grace us with her presence before then), I will hold her, look at her little face, kiss her little lips and toes and hold her closer to me than I've held anything in my life. It's absolutely amazing. Quite simply amazing. I'm terrified. Do you know what has to happen for her to get here? She has to leave my body! As in there is something inside ...

Dear Pregnancy, I love you! I love you so much that when I wake up at 11 p.m., 1:15 a.m., 2:45 a.m., 4 a.m., 6 a.m. and finally at 7 a.m. I am in awe of what my body is accomplishing. I am amazed at how many times one person can get up and pee 5 drops. Pregnancy, you are amazing. I have never in my life gotten such a work-out just trying to roll over in bed or sit up from laying down. You have pushed my limits, forcing me to exercise at all hours of the night. You are a wonderful motivator! You have even been able to transform my appearance into many things, sometimes I look like a turtle trying to roll off it's shell, sometimes I waddle like a duck, sometimes you even let me look like a pirate with planks for legs and feet! You know that I love Halloween and have given me this gift, the gift of not even looking like myself! You are so thoughtful. It is amazing what we are accomplishing together, we're nurturing and growing a new life. I know that froggydaddy is thril...

Dear Froggyhusband, Sometimes in pregnancy it's easy to overlook the daddy's role in the gestation of the baby. I haven't overlooked you. I promise. You have been so supportive and loving, more so than I ever could have imagined. I felt that as soon as my belly began to grow you would see me as a baby incubating blimp, instead you have constantly told me how beautiful I am and how much you love me. I don't know that you'll ever be able to understand how much that means to me, how absolutely fabulous it makes me feel to hear you say that and know that you mean it. I know that this hasn't been easy for you, the mood swings, the grouchiness, the late night need for candy but you have stuck through it even lying to me and saying it hasn't been that bad. You are happy to do things, happy to be there and to be a part of this process in every way that you can. You do everything in your power to make things easier for me, from holding your cheeseburger out o...

OK Punkinhead, we need to come to an agreement right here and now... My bladder is not a trampoline. My lungs are not punching bags. My belly button is not an actual button for you to push from the inside, it won't do anything special, I promise. Now with that said I can commence with the sweet. Hey baby girl, it amazes me every day how much you move and grow and how you get comfortable at night just like mommy and your comfort is evidenced by the huge lopsided lump in my belly. I love to feel you and to rub you through my belly. I know you can feel us now because you respond with slight movements and less subtle kicks and punches. You respond to your daddy much more now and will play a little game of "tug of war" where he'll push on your foot (or hand) and you'll push back. Last night you kicked him on command because he was asking mommy to do something ridiculous like cook dinner or some obnoxious thing. I can almost always find a foot or a hand pushed int...

A conversation from this morning: "What did I even look like before I was pregnant?" "Not as cute as you do now." If that doesn't melt your heart then you are dead inside.

Several weeks ago I dreamt that we weren't able to bring home our daughter because we didn't have a carseat for her. I had to leave her at some strange house and ask about her feeding schedule, I woke up in tears. Two weeks ago, Mom and Dad bought us a carseat and stroller and wrote a note that it was so I could sleep better. Two nights ago I dreamt that I had been able to bring her home (afterall we have a carseat now) but that she didn't have any clothes because I hadn't washed them yet. I emailed Mom about my latest dream so that she knew we'd now gotten her home and a new paranoia had set in*. Dad called this morning to let me know that they'd fallen for it once, but I wasn't getting a new washer and dryer! I love my parents! *I imagine dreams like this will never go away...but just in case, I washed her blankets yesterday and the rest will follow today or tomorrow.

Hey baby girl! You're 31 weeks old gestationally today. Wow. It's a little freaky to write it out there like that. It's almost time for you to make your grand entrance and I'm sure you will arrive in great style. Hopefully with a little less of an anouncement than your daddy, who broke grandma's tail bone during his debut. We won't think about that now, but if that is your plan, could you maybe just hang out in there? You are more and more active as the days go on, you seem to be a little shy though. When it's just you and me, you move around like crazy I can feel you moving 90% of the day, and we're not talking small movements, but this weekend when there was a whirlwind of people around for the shower you quietened down and moved very little until we were alone again laying next to daddy. You get shy with daddy too, I don't know if it's the difference in his touch or the sound of his voice but you quieten down when he rests his hand on my belly...